DeeDee Whitten

Isn’t it amazing that we all hate to admit when we are angry? “I’m not yelling! I’m not angry! I’m not mad! And my personal favorite and my own response, I’m fine”  Ephesians: 4:26 tells us “Be angry and sin not” It is clear from this scripture that it is not a sin to get angry. So how do we be angry and not sin. Common reactions to Anger is to blow up at people while other’s clam up. In other words some people express it and while other repress it. In the Old Testament God got angry. The New Testament we see Jesus got angry. And we know neither of them ever sinned. Anger is a God given emotion. Sometimes Anger is a valid response to life. I think we get false guilt thinking, “I should never feel angry” We need to understand that is not a sin to get angry. It is what we do with that anger the causes us to sin.  

I have read that the number one cause of depression is repressed anger. Internalizing your anger does not make you a better Christian than the person who blows up. Either way, it’s wrong and it’s an ineffective way to get others to understand you feelings or point of view. Anger usually is not the root problem. There is usually a deeper issue. Anger is an emotional reaction to one of the following emotions:

1.      You are hurt: either physically or emotionally

2.      You are frustrated: Things don’t seem to be turning out the way you want them to. When you’re angered by frustration, ask yourself two questions: Would getting angry change the situation? Is it really worth being upset over?

3.      You fear something: you feel threatened or insecure.

Ask yourself, “What am I angry about? Why am I so upset? When you focus on the real cause, it is easier to control your anger. Life is full of hurt and frustration. But we can learn to deal with the hurt and frustration without letting our anger over the situation control us. Anger is a choice. You might be thinking, “You don’t understand, when I get angry, I can’t control it.” As Christians we have the Holy Spirit that dwells within us. He is the same Spirit that has the power to raise people from the Dead. If we allow him to help us we can get to the point where we can control our anger.

God tells us in Ephesians 4:26 “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”  I believe God gave us this verse because he knows how dangerous and destructive anger is to our bodies. Scientist have proven that when we get angry there is a definite biochemical change that happens in our body. Your palms start sweating, your temperature is raised, you blood sugar increases, your heart beat elevates and you get nervous. God doesn’t want us to go to bed with all that pent up inside us.  When we hold on to our anger it has a damaging effect upon our health. We can’t sleep. We can get high blood pressure or get depressed.

In addition to having damaging effects on our health it can also affect us socially. It ruins relationships, it destroys homes. It is also dangerous to us spiritually. It can affect our relationship with God.  Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:27”And do not give the devil a foothold.” When you get angry deal with it immediately, so the devil doesn’t get his foot into our life.

Proverbs 29:11 says “A fool gives vent to his anger but a wise man keeps himself under control.” If we don’t deal with our anger it can become a habitual way of responding to life. Pretty soon our anger controls us instead of us controlling our anger. Try the Stop, Look and Listen method.

1.      STOP: Stop and think before you speak. Proverb’s 14:17 says “A quick tempered man does foolish things.” and Proverb’s 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath but harsh words stir up anger.” The starting point to dealing with anger is to STOP and watch what you say.

2.      LOOK: Look at the situation from God’s point of view, not our point of view. That means be mature enough to over look minor hurts, frustrations and insecurities. If someone insults you, criticizes you or puts you down, be mature enough to say, “It’s not going to bother me.” Proverbs 12:16 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience. It is his glory to overlook an offense.” Anger, like every other emotion, is caused by the way we see a situation. If we want to control our anger, one way to do it is to change your point-of-view.

3.      LISTEN: Listen to the needs and hurts of those people that you're tempted to be angry against. My Husband always says "Hurt people, hurt people" When we listen to their needs, it is easier to respond and not get angry. James 1:9 says: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." If we are quick to listen and slow to speak, it is going to be automatic that you are slow to become angry.